TESTIMONIALS
On this page, you will find some testimonials from the many people I have had the opportunity to work with.
First, there are written testimonials, and further down, there are video testimonials.
THE GUILT THAT WAS NOT MINE
M.A. is a 50-year-old woman with several significant health issues, both physical and emotional: irritable bowel syndrome, uterine fibroids, photosensitive dermatitis, benign breast cyst surgery, unfavorable episiotomy results, back pain, stiffness in the neck and shoulders, lack of trust in people due to feeling betrayed multiple times, occasionally painful menstruation now subsiding due to the onset of menopause, family problems, lack of self-confidence, resentment and anger, nightmares, etc. She has tried some regression work, magnets, and previously dabbled in Hatha Yoga, but none of these provided a solution to her health problems.
She came to attend her first psychocorporal workshop because the information she had received resonated with her. After a preliminary interview before the workshop, I observed a tired, resilient woman, feeling quite low but still hopeful. I informed her that miracles don't happen in just one session, emphasizing the need for a process. With that understanding, she embarked on the workshop journey, during which she cried, experienced the onset of menstruation with increased blood flow staining her clothes, expressed her anger, laughed, cried again, and gradually witnessed changes in her energy, facial expression, and overall state. At the end, she only shared with the group how wonderful the session had been without providing details, explaining that they were too intimate, and as the group was not yet solidified, she preferred not to discuss them openly. However, she emphasized that what happened was important to her.
A few days later, she sent me an email to provide more detailed information and ask for my professional opinion. She had learned some basic exercises from the workshop and continued practicing them because they helped her to release tension and to improve her posture. I was delighted to read everything she shared in that email:
Hello, good afternoon!! (...) At the moment, I'm only releasing tension from my body with the initial exercises... some exercises involving the vagina and buttocks. I stretch my legs as much as I can. However, I have detected a bulge like a hernia around my belly button that moves from side to side. I have even massaged my abdomen and can move it... I think regardless of the exercises, I should get a medical examination... Maybe an ultrasound or an X-ray... What do you suggest? As for the incontinence, I can only control it through reconstructive surgery, but that will be done in due time. I can control urine better by adjusting my hips during the workshop, but the episiotomy I had from the gynecologist who assisted me during my natural childbirth was terrible... another gynecologist recommended surgery to me. So for now, I will continue with my exercises to try to control the urine. Now my body is more flexible and agile... As for the emotions I released, I will try to summarize them because it is a very personal and taboo topic for some women...
When I was newly married, my husband once tried to experiment with anal sex to change positions, and I completely disliked it. I rejected it, and when he attempted it, he hurt me. Finally, after a year, we got divorced. The woman he left me for was completely the opposite of me; at that time, I was slim and well-formed. I have always been a very clean woman and very feminine, always well-groomed, well-dressed, professional. I was at the peak of my career, sowing and reaping the rewards of my efforts quickly... I adored him, always affectionate, attentive, and thoughtful, and my frustration grew when he started distancing himself from me sexually and began drinking excessively and coming home late... without any explanations... there were many details that I prefer not to mention... because for some skeptical people, they make no sense...
I can only summarize that he replaced me with a physically and morally ugly woman... his secretary, vulgar, drunk, and ambitious with varicose veins and the appearance of a witch; who eventually, after 6 years, drained him of his capacity and money, shouted to his face that she had never loved him, only used him... When he came back repentant, seeking a second chance, because he was getting divorced and had never emotionally disconnected from me in his mind and heart, he told me everything... and asked for another opportunity... if it hadn't been for our intense 4 and a half years of dating and the love I had for him despite our short civil marriage, I wouldn't have accepted him back, as I had already forgiven him through meditation before his return. There is a saying: "God arranges and the devil disrupts..." Our reconciliation lasted only a month and a half because he had a chronic cough, and when he got checked by the doctor, they detected tuberculosis and, behind that, stage five lung cancer like a cluster of grapes in his lungs and liver, a result of his excessive weekly revelry manipulated by the other woman.
Resentment took over me... and guilt... When he passed away, anger and resentment started subconsciously eating away at me. My dreams of a couple, of marriage, shattered... that's the SHIT I released in the first exercise... Pain, anger... helplessness, guilt for not knowing how to have anal sex... for not being cunning or dirty like most cunning women who achieve it... Anyway... I have let it go. Today I realize that, despite everything, I am still a whole woman; that I loved him at that moment with all my being, and everything I suffered was for my own good...
Years later, I was able to experience anal sex... but all I managed to do was displace my hip, although I could have orgasms, I believe that subconsciously, I found temporary partners who showed me that none of that was important, but they were not the right men either.
I went through years of abstinence, and then I decided to approach N., seeking emotional balance in terms of a partner, and although he seems like an incredible guy, polite, educated, a gentleman, he is bipolar, so we loved each other unconditionally until he went into crisis because that was our only agreement... Love, Sex... those are the words... that come up during the workshop... my blockage revolved around that... maybe that's why fibroids formed in my uterus, so many attempts between one long-term relationship and another... only now I do understand why love comes from oneself...
But healing can only occur by forgiving and letting go of the past... I am learning to see with the eyes of the soul, even after finishing the workshop, I was able to firmly say NO to a man who had occasionally become my lover, and I have decided that it's better for him to be my friend because the man I want for myself must be different... He must be like me, free to love, respectful, loyal, noble, romantic, compassionate, strong, in a holistic way. So for now, I must continue calmly, serenely, without fear because returning to my center in my posture is like recovering the M.A. of many years ago, where everything I undertook yielded results because I trusted her... and it will, I'm sure... for myself and for my daughter, who is my greatest treasure...!! I send you warm regards, and if this information is useful for my testimonial, you can use it, I just ask that it remains anonymous... do you understand?
P.S. The dermatitis is a result of lack of self-confidence, causing many negative situations after P.'s death, until it affected not only my business, my family, but even my professional life. That's why whenever those thoughts or emotions come to my mind, I release them with the first and second positions... it helps me, it's like letting go of the burden... the trash of the past is useless. My skin is much better now, and I even take care of my face... everything has fallen into place... Thank you, Dr. Toni!
____
M.A. has improved significantly both physically and mentally since then, as through the proposed psychophysical work, her body memory began to emerge from its deepest repression and she was able to find the answers she needed to understand and reinterpret herself. She had never before tried to avoid the game of physical compensations that were shaped through her psychological character, a psycho-body of guilt.
THE WOMEN OF MY FAMILY
B., a 47-year-old woman, starts attending regular group workshops based on a friend's recommendation. Apparently, she doesn't have any notable physical issues, but a body-reading reveals chronic tension in her shoulder girdle, particularly in the trapezius and posterior muscles of the neck, and the shoulder blade. She talks about a different sensation on the right side of her body compared to the left, often noticeable in her legs. Her face displays a mixed expression of fatigue and mistrust, with some tension in her gaze but without losing hope. Shortly after starting the first workshop, she expresses difficulty in connecting and relaxing her pelvic area and hips, revealing another area of chronic tension.
In the initial workshops, during the first stretching exercises of the posterior chain, she experiences anxiety, confusion, pain, tension, or contractions due to the compensations that appear in various parts of her body. However, she is surprised by the changes she feels when invited to "inhabit the body" after each exercise. Over time, she becomes more engaged in the work and loses her shyness in using her voice to release tension. In emotional releases, she expresses herself vehemently, surprising herself with her expressiveness.
But the most interesting thing is that as time goes by, in addition to feeling much lighter and relieved, she senses an increase in her self-esteem. In some workshops, she allows herself to cry after opening certain "body spaces", and one day she shares with the group for the first time that she has just realized how her entire body is structured based on her pattern of femininity and the weight that women and female figures in her family hold over her. It was from then on that B. gradually began to understand, from a different perspective that is not solely rational, the reason behind her proprioceptive asymmetry. She also came to realize the importance of relaxing her back, neck, and face, while becoming aware of her place in the family system, her boundaries, and her interests in reconciling with her femininity, which had been overshadowed and conditioned by certain emotional introjects of systemic and cultural origin.
WHEN I CAN'T CRY
F. is a young woman who hasn't reached her forties yet. She has a social, fun, and active personality. However, she experiences a discomforting peculiarity: whenever she sees a woman crying, she cannot bear it. Body reading reveals the typical psychocorporal characteristics of a person with her psychological makeup, although her asymmetrical posture stands out even in a normal state. After exploring her conscious biography and trying other therapeutic techniques, she can't find an explanation or healing for her "phenomenon."
But one day, during an activated breathing workshop, she has an experience that leads her to understanding and resolution. During her breathing session, she relives the feeling of being inside her mother's womb when her mother was pregnant with her, but experiencing sadness and the urge to cry that she didn't perceive as her own. After the session, she shares the experience with the group, even though she doesn't exactly know what it implies. These types of experiences often arise with some frequency in breathing work.
A few days after the experience, she visits her mother and asks if something happened during her mother's pregnancy with her that greatly upset her. Her mother, almost not remembering, answers that indeed, someone dear passed away during the pregnancy, and she was deeply saddened, crying for several days. Surprised, her mother asks how she knew about it and why she's bringing it up. F., in an intuitive and non-rational manner, feels that what her mother explained somehow relates to her experience during the breathing session, although she doesn't know exactly how at that moment.
Until one day, when she had to witness a woman crying, without realizing it, she went to assist her instead of running away. Surprised by her own action, discovering herself helping the woman instead of fleeing, she then realizes the significance of her experience during the breathing exercise and what her mother had told her. Finally, she could resolve her "phenomenon." Shortly after, she also realizes that on a psychocorporal level, her fear of witnessing crying had kept her chest area constricted because she couldn't allow herself to cry. Much of her psychological makeup had been shaped around avoiding pain, depression, or sadness. Now, she feels more liberated and, therefore, more secure and responsible in facing life's adversities, and her posture becomes easier to carry and her breathing different.
THE FEAR OF REMEMBERING THE PAIN
J. is a man approaching his forties who is dedicated to sports in a committed and intense manner, participating in important competitions. Following an injury to his right leg, there is something in his biomechanics that doesn't quite work because, after a while of starting his physical activity, he experiences a pain similar to the one he had when the injury occurred. This pain prevents him from improving or even matching his previous records.
Initially, he comes with a purely physical demand because the physiotherapy and rehabilitation work he has done so far, while it healed the injury at the time, hasn't helped him fully recover afterward. We begin the work, and in the body reading, we observe an athletic body but with highly contracted musculature and tendinous systems, pulling here and there.
We start an exploratory work on the breathing pattern, posture, psychoneuromotor disconnection, and emotional control due to his demanding and perfectionistic psychological makeup. He gradually regains length in the muscular chains and feels how this type of work brings him back to serenity and flexibility, which he considers necessary to recover after each competition and prepare for the next one.
However, it is in the third session when we explore psychoneuromotor coordination and kinesthetic awareness, and by avoiding the compensations that occur when he positions his body in a certain way, he begins to understand the disconnection he has with his right leg and his right side. At a certain point, we decide to release the lateral chain of his right leg, and when we touch the point where the injury occurred, the intense pain he felt at that time reappears.
As he gradually releases that point and relaxes the rest of the chain, allowing the pain, he realizes, surprised, that even though he had physically recovered from the injury and there was no logical physiopathological reason, it was simply a fear of getting injured again. This fear caused a dysfunctional posture and biomechanics that, after a period of engaging in his sports activities, resulted in pain and, in turn, fear of re-injury—a cycle with no way out.
Once he understood this and engaged in a work of kinesthetic and cenesthetic reconnection of his right leg and side, he was able to regain his previous status and continue his sports activities with complete normalcy. He also surpassed his own records.
THE SACRUM WAS ACTUALLY THE VICTIM
S. is a 56-year-old man, a doctor and a gestalt therapist who also practices antigymnastics. He had the opportunity to attend my workshops more by chance than by necessity. However, in the very first workshop, he discovers that what he had always believed to be a localized problem focused on his sacrum, despite his medical and therapeutic knowledge, is actually the consequence of a postural pattern mainly determined by his psychological character and personality. Throughout the development of a four-hour workshop, following my guidance, he goes beyond what antigymnastics had previously provided him, and after some exercises, he manages to perform certain movements and experience sensations that he had forgotten many years ago when inhibiting his pelvic and sacroiliac area.
As a doctor, he had focused his attention on the symptomatology and a traumatological perspective, which, through his demanding and perfectionist character and personality, established a belief, a bodily form, and an attitude that caused him problems even in relationships, apart from the pain in his rectified sacrum. At the end of the workshop, when he shared his experience with the group, he asked for opinions about the new sensations he had experienced. My feedback to illustrate and help him understand intellectually what might be happening was as follows: your physical posture corresponds to your emotional posture... the tension in your tendons is directly proportional to the tension in your reasons or your thouths... As a person who had already done personal work and emotional therapy, he quickly understood that the overload in his sacrum due to his posteriorized posture was the manifestation of his neurotic emotional core. A core that he had already worked on and processed through verbal emotional therapy but had never worked on through body memory and posture.
Therefore, all of this sparked his enthusiasm to continue, even with individual sessions where we could work on the alignment of his legs, the release at the pelvic and hip level, and the behavioral and biographical aspects related to his discomfort. Now, he knows the origin of his weak point and understands its implications. He also knows which exercises he can do to decompress and alleviate the discomfort, and he feels more connected to the positive aspects of his personality.
AWAKENING
I. is a middle-aged man who starts working in group workshops. He wants to starts but he doesn't really know why. He begins the work and soon opens up, letting out his tears, emotions, feelings, and voice in his emotional releases. His curiosity turns into understanding that his intuition led him to a good place and that, without knowing how, he gradually feels more open, determined, expressive, and happier with himself. Over time, and after workshops involving activated breathing and psychocorporal integration, he takes giant steps in self-awareness and sees how he was and how he is now. He shares with the group that he never imagined the extent of this type of work and that simply releasing accumulated tensions that conditioned his bodily, postural, and attitudinal state, as well as his emotional connection with the environment, could have transformed him into a sensitive man. In this sense, I. points out that he now feels that everything he had read or seen in others about sensitivity and spirituality, energy, and emotionality is no longer a longing but a reality.
VIDEO TESTIMONIALS
(All videos are in Spanish or Catalan)
To see the videos, visit the Spanish version of TESTIMONIOS and scroll down after the writings.